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Bird’s Eye View (Dec 9, 2015)

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin. What is surely an important yet too often ignored fact about life is death. So many of us put off much needed decision-making on this topic until it becomes a necessity, and at that point the ideal situations and resolutions for each for us may be difficult to come by. Here in the Valley we have a group of folks who are trying to help with this. Lauren Keating of Lauren’s Restaurant shared details of ongoing monthly meetings at her restaurant, at which many of the questions surrounding the complexities of later life are explored.

“We’ve called our gatherings ‘Preparation for the Rest of our Lives; a group discussion of life and end-of-life.’ The next meeting is Sunday, December 13, from 4pm to 5:30pm and we also will be focusing on Hospice care at this meeting. In the near future we plan to look at all the resources that are currently available in the Valley, and hope to have representatives from each come to speak. Each monthly session will provide information on a specific topic and will consist of informal conversations about the challenging issues we’re considering. Future topics include green burials and home funerals, in-home support, how to talk with family and friends about end of life issues, and creating joy as we age.” Lauren can be reached at 895-2606 for further information. Although not an uplifting topic, there are not many that are more important, and surely this is something all of those in the final third of their lives should probably be thinking about.

On the brighter side, for your Quotes of the Week here are some comments from smart minds about the lighter side of death. Mark Twain: “Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” Andy Rooney: “Death is a distant rumor to the young.” Woody Allen: “It’s not that I am afraid to die, I just don’t want be there when it happens.” Novelist W. Somerset Maugham: “Death is such a dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing to do with it.” Friedrich Nietzsche: “One should die proudly, when it is no longer possible to live proudly.” An English proverb: “Death always comes too early or too late.”

Public Service Announcements. #544. The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be in the Valley on Thursday, December 17 at the AV Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. #545. The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, December 15. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details. #546. The AV Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on AV Way, a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare. “The Best Little Museum in the West.” #547. There’s Karaoke at The Buckhorn a week from today, Wednesday, December 16. The show is hosted by Sarah Songbird Larkin of The Real Sarahs — 9pm until close. #548. The Food Bank is open on the 3rd Tuesday, November 15. Gardeners, farmers and produce growers of all kinds, remember to donate your extra produce. It will be greatly appreciated. Please drop off on the Monday before, behind the Boonville Methodist Church. If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at valerie.h.kim@gmail.com. Denisse Mattei is the Food Bank director, 895-3763. #549. I am led to believe that the “Second Wednesday Drumming Circle” will be taking place at The Grange tonight, Wednesday, December 9 from 7-9pm. To confirm, perhaps call Andy at 895-3020.

Here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors. Tomorrow, Thursday, December 10, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Cashew Chicken, with Coconut Cake for dessert. Then, next Tuesday, December 15, the lunch will feature Lemon Cod and then Lemon Squares for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal: the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages welcome! Hope to see you there.

Topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge. Yes, Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors from my favorite gathering place in the Valley. A couple of weeks ago I shared with you, my loyal readers, Leonard Cohen’s “The Stages,” a song that lists the stages that men go through with regards to the changing levels of their attractiveness to the opposite sex. These were, in order, irresistible, resistible, invisible, transparent (not exactly invisible but as if you are seen through old plastic), repulsive, and finally cute. Pretty accurate, I’d say. I have come up with my own list of the opposite point of view: the stages women go through in the sense of their changing ways of attractiveness to men over the years. These would arguably be: irritating, preoccupying, seductive, intriguing, pragmatic, not-to-be-messed-with. Just my humble opinion of course.

…So the AVA hierarchy is moving into new headquarters just down the street from their/our current location. They have bought the property next door to the Redwood Drive-In and they are currently “developing” the site. This will no doubt result in a new luxurious newspaper office, a bronze statue of Lenin placed prominently in the forecourt, and presumably some grandiose living quarters for the hard-working staff. I hope I am in their thoughts for a new Nest in town. After all, the AVA powers-that-be profess to adhere to a socialist doctrine and an essential characteristic of socialism is the denial of individual property rights. As a result, what is theirs is ours too, and if they are to follow their principles, a new Nest is surely not too much to expect. At moments like this I do like to refer to a slogan I read somewhere, “All Happy. None Rich. None Poor.” Thank you, in anticipation.

…I am disappointed to report that I have no more news on the opening date of the almost mythological Bedraggled Pig restaurant at the Floodgate section of the Valley. So, we shall continue to remain in the dark as to whether or not at some point in my lifetime they really will prove to be the “purveyors of gastronomical pleasantries” they claim to be. I must say that at this point the delay is nothing short of bewildering and after this amount of time let’s hope it is worth the wait and teasing Facebook posts.

…From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series, “Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching.” Buzzard reports, “The AV Grange will not be having its regular Second Sunday Pancake Breakfast this coming Saturday, December 13. No folks, instead, on that evening they will be hosting the annual Holiday/Community Dinner beginning at 5.30pm. Now in the past this event has not served alcohol, the reason being, according to my team of investigative reporters, that it is ‘a family event.’ What a load of old bollocks. Surely it can still be such an event even if some of the adults partake of some wine or a beer or two with their meal. That is normal behavior despite what some narrow-minded and judgmental folks may think. Kids will not be shocked or traumatized. They see, hear, and read about far more disturbing things every day on their iPhones. A number of Valley folks have not attended this gathering in recent years, not because they cannot go without their alcohol fix, but rather because they do not wish to be treated like naughty schoolchildren and have to sneak outside for a drink. Fortunately, this silly over-protectiveness, typical of our increasingly prevalent “nanny-state,” has come to an end and The Grange decision-makers have decided to make a little money for their charitable cause by arranging for wine and beer for sale. Well done! Common sense has prevailed and the Apocalypse has been offset for now.” Thanks for your thoughts, Buzzard. I couldn’t agree more.

Time to take my leave. As you can probably guess, I’ve got see a man about a sheep. So, until we talk again, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; be kind and show love to your pets; and may your god go with you. A final request, Let us prey. Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at turkeyvulture9@gmail.com. PS. On the sheep, Grace. Keep on humming, Hummingbird. Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday.

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