Bird’s Eye View
by Turkey Vulture, September 29, 2011
Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. Update from the AVA’s Supreme Leader Bruce Anderson, who has been quite ill of late with various ‘old gentlemen’ ailments — “My doctors told me Wednesday that they thought there was a good chance I would die on Tuesday evening. It was very close. I'm still pretty weak but expect to be back in Boonville in a week or two. For now I've got to stay close to the doctors. And I just had my first grandchild this morning, a boy at 8 pounds 13 ounces. It's been a busy week.” Wow! The efforts some special people will go to so as to not leave a ‘footprint’ and, in this case, have no effect on an already over-populated Earth — this man should be canonized! Long live, St. Bruce!
Public Service Announcements. #284. Sold out! I’m talking about the 60 tickets for the upcoming Guest Chef Dinner benefiting the Senior Center on Friday, Sept 30th, when chef Cory Morse will be serving Garden marinated salad and, using Janie Morse’s (of Janie’s Place fame) secret recipe for her Famous Pan Fried buttermilk chicken, Rosemary Pesto, Red Potatoes, Fire Roasted Corn, Crunch Top Apple Pie a la mode, all with a complimentary glass of wine. The next such event is the last Friday of the month — October 28th. I’ll keep you posted. #285. This Saturday morning’s Farmer’s Market in the Boonville hotel parking lot features music by the ‘Free Marketeers’ and the apple press will be available for juicing. It’s 9.30am to noon and well worth the visit. #286. Throughout October, Laughing Dog Books will feature the mixed media art of Cindy Hollinger. I’m sure it too will be well worth a visit — and certainly the opportune time to get that reading habit back again as the short days approach. #287. Talking of art, the high school show continues through October at Lauren’s Restaurant where you can enjoy the works and then a pulled pork sandwich which continues to be a very popular item, although it will be available for just a short time longer.
Topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge. Yes, “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley.
…Several regulars at The 3-Dot suggested I reply to parent Nancy MacLeod and Bruce ‘Voltaire’ Patterson following their letters in response to the recent ‘bring back school uniform’ comments expressed herein. To be honest I think it is already 2-0 to me and it’s time to move on.
…Who knew? 3-Dot regulars who enjoy their Monday Night Football at The Buckhorn, with good beers and spicy wings of course, were delighted to find out that those wings are now ½-price ($5) all day and night on Mondays! I fully expect to pay $10 for such a meal and Hummingbird kindly gives me that for my Monday night food allowance. I guess that means a double plate!
…From 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series - ‘Forget The Rapture and worry about The Approach of the Apocalypse’... “Perhaps the Apocalypse is even closer than I thought as one Valley gentlemen regularly feels he is able to only tip 25 cents when dining out at various Valley establishments... This is almost as shocking as the bible-bashers who leave little ‘Jesus cards’ instead of a tip, reminding the hard-working wait-staff that they will go to hell unless they accept Jesus into their hearts... What is going on?”
…A betting pool has started amongst regulars at The 3-Dot to see who can correctly guess the number of tourists in the months of September and October whom I personally spot feverishly picking blackberries on the side of the road on Hwy 128 between Boonville and Navarro. Bonus points are available to those who also guess the number who are in a thicket of poison oak as they unsuspectingly gather their ‘amazing’ find.
And that leads somewhat obliquely into the Quote of the Week, this time from the brilliant mind of Irish playwright and socialist, George Bernard Shaw. Incidentally he is the only person to win both a Nobel Prize (for Literature in 1925) and an Oscar (Best Screenplay in 1938 for ‘Pygmalion,’ later ‘My Fair Lady’). Now you know and can impress friends! But I digress - G.B.S. wisely noted, “Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich — something for nothing.” Meanwhile, with four weeks to go, it’s 17 blackberry pickers, of which seven were obviously unaware of the ‘gamble’ they were taking as they picked merrily away, entrenched amongst poison oak.
Time to take my leave. But first, with the hot weather still with us, despite the showers on Sunday, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; children too I suppose. Otherwise, Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.