Bird’s Eye View

by Turkey Vulture, March 24, 2011

Greetings one and all. If you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin. “No power in Boonville” was the miserable word around the Valley last Sunday morning. Following the heavy storms of Saturday night/Sunday morning, the power in our local “metropolis” was out and the whole place was closed down — very disappointing for many, particularly those heading to the newly opened Buckhorn pub/restaurant to enjoy owner/chef Tom Towey’s “soon-to-be world famous” brunch, being served every Saturday and Sunday from 10am. Hopefully, by the time you read this, everything is back to normal although the radar/satellite would suggest we have more inclement weather to deal with for most of this week. I know, I know — “we need it,” but…

Although I did miss getting my much-anticipated brunch I was able to survive on the splendid leftover pepperoni and mushroom pizza that I had taken home from Lauren’s Restaurant the previous evening. It’s a very simple pie — and there is nothing wrong with that by the way — and when enjoyed with a can of Guinness it’s almost as good cold as it is fresh out of the oven. Trust me on this —thank me later.

Onward. The AV Film Festival Committee has passed on to me the final accounting breakdown for their event held in late January. The total profits were $1967 and this has been divided up between the six beneficiaries as follows: AV Senior Center: $500; AV Animal Rescue: $400; AV Elder Home: $300; AV High School Senior Scholarship: $300; AV High School Film Class: $267; and The Philo Grange: $200. On behalf of these local groups, many thanks to all who participated both in organizing and supporting this special Valley event.

Very heart-warming I must say, and with St Patrick’s Day having just passed may I share with you another heart-warming, yet sad, little tale about a friend of mine whose dog passed away in Ireland last week. Murphy lived alone in the Irish countryside with only his dog for company and so when the dog died, Murphy went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be sayin' a mass for my best friend?” Father Patrick replied, “I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church but there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature?”

Muldoon said, “I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?”

“Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus!” the Priest exclaimed, “Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?”

Public Service Announcements. #130. Barn Sale — they’re back! Following a three-month hiatus during which time they took a well-deserved break yet still managed to put together a superb crab feed in Boonville and a St. Patrick’s Day event in Elk, The Barn Sale Crew, led by Gloria Ross, will return to The Big Barn, behind The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville. It’s from 9am to 3pm, both Saturday and Sunday, March 26th/27th. #131. To benefit the Navarro River Resource Center, Tommy Brown and his Smokin’ Mirrors Band will be playing at Lauren’s Restaurant at 9pm this coming Saturday, March 26th. #132. Coming the following weekend, Saturday, April 2nd — the first annual ‘PawFest’! This very special event will benefit the Anderson Valley Animal Rescue and is to take place at a different venue to many Valley events — the AV Brewing Company. With a chicken, tri-tip, and veggie bbq by the Lions Club, beer from the Brewery, music by the Valley’s own Peanut Butter Jam Band, dog obedience displays, a raffle, and even a special commemorative t-shirt by famed local animal artist Paula Gray available for purchase, it sounds like a great time and it’s all for a wonderful cause. With that in mind, while admission is free, there will be a donation box available for your much-needed and appreciated contributions. So, please take note — it’s Saturday, April 2nd from 2pm to 6pm — and is not to be missed. Oh, and dogs on a leash are welcome too!

Moving quickly on to the continuing topic of discussion at The Three-Dot Lounge — the opening of The Buckhorn and the fact that the Valley has a varied selection of venues at which to spend time with friends while enjoying fine food, top quality beers, and exceptional wines. Over the past few days, our regulars at The 3-Dot have passed on these quotes/words of wisdom on the subject of drinking so I thought it would be rude to not share some of them with you as your Quotes of the Week. Here we go with my three favorites: “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” — veteran American comedian, Henny Youngman; “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” — None other than one of the great Americans, Benjamin Franklin; and, saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of television’s ‘Cheers’ fame, who was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm as they sat at the bar sipping a cold one: “Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.” It’s difficult to argue with that, I’m sure you would agree.

Time to take my leave. Keep the Faith; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you. One final request: “Let us prey.” Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture. PS. Contact me with words of support/abuse through the Letters Page or at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net. PPS. Hi, Silver Swan. Behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

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